The Protector in Me

As you can maybe tell, I've been doing a lot of self reflection lately.  It's a coping mechanism that forces me to hold a mirror in front of my face and to look at all the ugly and to try to understand why I do the things I do.  This week I've had two major revelations about my life.  I've realized that my "lost puppy syndrome" runs deep and keeps me in a painful place because of my need to protect those around me.  I've also realized that this is part of the reason why I keep friends at a distance... Because it's too hard to invest in them all when they could turn around and hurt me in a way that will take years to recover from.

All I want is to be everything to someone.  Impossible.