Bucket List

Normally I am not an early riser but this morning I was lying in bed next to my sleeping husband and that's always a recipe for a new blog though it rarely makes it to paper.  Here I sit at 7:30 on a Saturday morning...  this was NOT on my bucket list!  A few years ago my husband mentioned his "bucket list" and a few of the things he hopes to experience.  Since that time I have been developing my own list of  personal accomplishments.  My list doesn't involve crazy things like sky diving or cliff hanging.  My list of things may be more impossible to achieve. 

At the top of my list would be "to live the fairytale", even if only for a season, and I don't mean the wicked step-mother chapter!  In my marriage I want to be the perfect wife to my perfect husband with the ultimate in fairytale cliche.  To be swept off my feet...  like I said, next to impossible.

Next on my list would be to watch my girls grow into thriving young women who marry the love of their lives with joy and happiness abounding.

I would love to have validation that my life, my struggles, my efforts, some part of me made a positive impact on another human being.  As a wife, a mother, a friend, a therapist, or just as an acquaintance.  I want to know that my God used me in a way that made another life just a little brighter.

I want to have the power to slay my demons.  Each time you see my smile it hides constant worry, fear, failures, inadequacies, and pain.  I want to confidently smile knowing that I've conquered them all.

Several years ago I began to learn sign language.  I can muddle through a conversation and get my point across, but I would love to be fluent... This one could be an easy one to check off my list!

Of course travels are on my list along with some of the material objects usually associated with a midlife crisis (swimming pool and a convertible, oh, and another yorkie!), but when I think of my bucket list most of the items I would love to check off have to do with changing my perception, my expectation, and seeing the beauty in the smaller, mundane things.  I've learned that life doesn't often greet us with our hopes and dreams tied up in neat little bow unless we are able to appreciate the humble blessings.

Today it will be my goal to take one step closer to being the "perfect wife" to my husband, to make my daughters smile, and gain a foothold on one of those demons by winning just one battle.