Hearts At Home

I recently went to the Hearts at Home National Conference. It's hosted at ISU campus in Bloomington, IL and I 've been going for the past 5 years. Outside of getting some much needed time away from home and getting to giggle with friends until we cry, I always come home with a wealth of new knowledge. Some ideas are perfectly simple in theory but next to impossible to stick to, while others seem like they would never work and end up being a life savior! Each year I choose my workshops so that I cover my parenting shortcomings as well as gain some valuable marriage advice. This year one of my workshops was called "5 Minutes Until Goodbye". This is one workshop that I requested, but when it showed up on my list I wanted to shy away. When I sat at my computer and read the blurb, I thought I could really use the insight that this woman would provide. It clearly would be sad and heart-wrenching, but worth it. When it came time to walk away from my friends to go to our individual workshops, I started regretting such a deep subject on such a fun day. I made a plan to meet up with my friends for lunch and went my own way. I paused and turned to see if I could still catch up with a few of them and then continued on my path.

I selected a seat off to the side and toward the back of the auditorium. Ladies around me were chatting and giggling and digging through their bags to find the small package of tissues provided at the start of the conference. As I sat there I evaluated why I felt the need to get up and walk out of the room... My husband is a firefighter. My constant fear is that he will go to work and I'll get a devastating phone call or visit from the fire chief reporting an accident. What if I really only had 5 minutes to say goodbye? What if I didn't even have that?

The speaker brought us all to tears with her personal testimony of her relationship with her husband. She spoke of a relationship so strong that there was nothing left unsaid. Her story encouraged me and scared me all at once. Her husband is still alive but with his health she never knows when a hug may be the last. She values him each and every moment of each and every day. I want to be like that. I want to know that when my husband leaves for work I would have no regrets if I never get to chat with him again. I want to make sure nothing is left unsaid, especially "I'm sorry". We've been married for almost 9 years. We've had some really tough times and I have wanted to walk away because it seemed easier than all the fighting.

Now I know that 9 years isn't enough time with him.